


Not In That Way

by sebastiansmythe



Category: Glee
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-21
Updated: 2018-11-21
Packaged: 2019-08-27 01:48:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16693075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sebastiansmythe/pseuds/sebastiansmythe
Summary: A desperate Sebastian talks to Blaine before the proposal.





	Not In That Way

**Author's Note:**

> Listening to Sam Smith made this angsty, so blame him for that, not me.

Blaine didn’t owe him anything. Sebastian had been the one who had caused him harm, after all. Even if none of it had been intentional. None of the harm towards _Blaine_ , anyway. But he’d been trying to be better. Kinder. The kind of man Blaine would be proud of. Not that it mattered. Because Blaine was still hung up over Kurt. And even though Sebastian would never be able to see what exactly it was that Blaine saw in that guy, he needed to be there for him. The fact that Blaine trusted him enough to ask for his help with such an important moment in his life had to mean _something_ , right? And okay, yeah, it wasn’t just him, he wanted all the Warblers, hell, all the show choirs in the state, it seemed, but… it was something. He was talking to him, at least, and not just because he’d been tricked into coming to Dalton by way of a stolen trophy. So, despite everything inside him saying it was an awful idea, Blaine proposing to Kurt, he’d agreed to help him out. He owed him that much. The plans were in place. Everything was ready to go. The days came quickly, and suddenly it was the evening before the big day.

And Sebastian could no longer keep his mouth shut.

The longer he stared at his phone, at the text from Blaine reminding everyone what time to get in place the following day, the more the bubbling in his chest rose. He couldn’t take it. _Fuck this_ . Kurt didn’t love Blaine. At least not the right way. _Not the way Sebastian could_. Yes, Sebastian was trying to be a better person, a good friend. But did a good friend sit around and not only watch, but help his friend make the worst mistake of his life? No. Not that he had much experience with being one, but Sebastian was almost positive that they didn’t.

Which is how Sebastian found himself on the doorsteps of the Anderson home, before he could stop himself.

After ringing the doorbell, he was let inside, by who he had to assume was Blaine’s mother. He apologized for showing up so late at night - even if he typically did stay out hours later than it was, even on school nights, and thanked her for letting him inside and showing him the way to Blaine’s room. He’d only been here once before, to drop off a gift basket after Blaine had gotten his eye surgery, but hadn’t had the courage to actually go inside, he’d only left it on the front steps. This time, though, he walked quickly, _determined_. He’d waited too damn long to tell Blaine how he felt, and he knew if he didn’t do it now, he might never get the chance. So, even if Blaine took one look at him and slammed the door in his face, he’d shout it through the wall. He didn’t care. He had feelings for Blaine, and it was time for Blaine to know. Before he ruined his life by marrying Mrs. Doubtfire’s uglier little sister.

One firm knock, a second, and then, with his fist raised for a third, the door was opened. He dropped his hand, and took in the sight that was Blaine Anderson. In the soft glow of what could really only be described as mood lighting, he couldn’t help but notice the curls starting to come loose from their day of being glued to Blaine’s head. Or the two buttons he’d undone, to let the flawless, tanned skin on his neck breathe. An extra second was dedicated to lusting over the almost annoyingly soft-looking, pouty lips, ones Sebastian had fantasized about way too many times. It was more magnificent than anything he’d ever seen _._ Other than, he supposed, all the other times he’d seen Blaine.

And then, those pouty lips opened, a tongue poked out to wet them, and words came out. Well, one word. Sebastian’s favorite word to hear, from his favorite mouth. The way it drawled out, each syllable almost a separate word. _Sah-bass-chin._ This time, it was said in the form of a question, as if Blaine was wondering why he was there, at nearly midnight, with no warning. Which, Sebastian realized, was probably valid.

“Hey.” Oh, wow, he was out of breath. Or maybe… something had taken his breath away, would be a more accurate statement. “So. You’re… probably wondering what I’m doing here.” _Yeah, no shit._ “I…”  Glancing over his shoulder, Sebastian started to feel a little self-conscious, just standing out here in the hallway. Not that he necessarily thought Blaine’s mom was eavesdropping, but he felt… _exposed_. “Can I come in?” Thankfully, despite still looking completely confused, Blaine nodded and stepped aside to let Sebastian enter his bedroom.

The room was pretty much exactly what he’d pictured. Tidy, classy, well put together… pretty much the same appearance as Blaine had. But, much like Blaine, there seemed to be a lot more than met the eye. Trophies, photographs of friends, sure, but there had to be a hidden diary somewhere. Maybe filled with private thoughts of Sebastian. Snooping wasn’t something good boys did, though, so he wasn’t going to even try to figure out a way to get Blaine out of the room for the opportunity. Even if it’d make this easier, knowing how Blaine truly felt about him. Honesty was the best policy, or at least he was sure Blaine believed that ridiculous saying, so… an honest man is what he’d be.

Blaine had shut the door while Sebastian looked around the room, something he took as a good sign. It had to be, right? That Blaine trusted him enough to be alone with him? Sebastian stood still as Blaine came closer, trying to control himself from just blurting out what he’d come here to say. He needed to go about it just the right way. This moment had been a long time coming, and he couldn’t screw it up. But Blaine was close, closer than necessary, and it was hard to focus. “You smell really good.” _Fuck, that had been out loud, hadn’t it?_ Apparently yes, because Blaine was chuckling. And then thanking him, looking at him with that damn smile. The one Sebastian daydreamed about. The one thing he liked to see more than anything, even more than Blaine’s perky little ass. _Oh, God, he was screwed._ After all this time, how did Blaine still have this affect on him? Most guys didn’t keep his interest for even a half hour. Then again, Blaine Anderson was not most guys.

“ _Blaine_ …” Whoa. That was… breathier, than intended. Not that Blaine seemed to mind, unless Sebastian was just seeing things. But he was pretty sure that there had been a twinkle in those golden eyes. That twinkle gave Sebastian the final push of courage he needed, to finally do what he’d come there for. He swallowed, stared, for just one last, final moment, before saying what he needed to. No going back. “P-” His breath hitched, and an unintentional, shaky breath fell from his lips, as he stared into _those eyes_. “Please don’t do this.”

Blaine’s head titled, in confusion, before realization seemed to dawn on him. “Sebas-” Even though it was his favorite thing to hear, Sebastian cut Blaine off. He wasn’t done. “Please, Blaine. Just… give me a chance. Let me finish.” He took a step closer, until they were inches apart, and inhaled deeply, longing to touch. But he couldn’t. Blaine wasn’t his. “I’m not saying… I’m not saying you need to be with me.” There was a definite lump in his throat now, making it harder to get these already difficult words out. “Just… don’t jump into this, because you think you’ll lose him without a ring on his finger. That’s not love, Blaine.” Sebastian scoffed, and looked away, but just for a second. “I know, I know, I’m not exactly an expert on the subject.” He paused again, staring back at Blaine. “But that’s not it.”

Blaine’s face was difficult to read, but softer than Sebastian had assumed it would be. Sad, almost. Like… Sebastian was saying something he already knew. “When you hugged me, the other day…” He cleared the lump in his throat, as a small, sad smile grew on his lips. “That was… the happiest I’ve felt in a really long time. Obviously, the circumstances surrounding the hug weren’t… _ideal_ , to say the least, but…” He shook his head, as if it would help stop his rambling. “Like I said. I’m no expert when it comes to love. But if that’s not it… I don’t know what is.”

He couldn’t look at Blaine. He had to close his eyes. Blaine didn’t feel the same way, that was something he was pretty sure of, and he didn’t want to see his reaction to hearing those words. Would he laugh? Look at him with disgust? Kick him out? Sebastian wasn’t sure. But he didn’t want to stick around to find out. After what felt like years, he opened his eyes again, to see Blaine moving in closer. A look of shock was on his face, but also one of determination, and then, before he realized what the determination was for - _oh_. Those pouty lips were on his own. It was fast, he hadn’t even had the time to process it all and close his eyes, before Blaine was pulling back, but the feeling, the softness, lingered.

“I know.” It was quiet, Sebastian might not even have heard it if everything Blaine didn’t seem to be amplified at the moment, even more than usual. “I’m sorry, Sebastian.”

 _Oh_ . He was surprised he didn’t go into shock, the way his heart had risen and dropped so dramatically, so quickly. This was a goodbye kiss. A _pity_ kiss. Before he could stop them, his eyes filled with tears, and Sebastian nodded quickly, trying to stop himself from crying - and from vomiting. _Right_. He needed to get out of there. Now. So he ran. He ignored Blaine’s voice calling after him, the sound he used to love, but now just sounded like nails on a chalkboard.

 

The next day he put on a smile, did his dance, and watched the boy he was in love with get engaged to the wrong guy. _Being nice sucked._


End file.
